my days

my days are thus....a long yet short-feeling progression of events....some of these events are rather boring in which i fill my time pondering and analyzing. The most current theme is obvious. Although i would LOVE to be thinking about other things, i simply must spent these hours (while driving, waiting for kids at soccer camp, or taking a poo) psyching myself out of calling him. I HAVE TO. I will not fall into it again and i CANNOT for my own health. I want to be free of this burden and, although sometimes it is extremely hard, i do feel me chest open up and lighten up as weight is steadily being let go into the atmosphere. It's me this time. it's me letting it go and it's me being strong. i am finally watching my own back. I will talk to you if you contact me, but don't expect anything more.