it's interesting how we as humans have the ability to forgive, even forget. we can harbor things, stupid things, for what seems a lifetime yet, if we are willing, have the capabilities to simply accept something as "happened" and move on. This is the ultimate goal. This is the place we should get to in order to achieve paz interna. To me it is extremely sad when someone won't at least try. Everyone can do it, yet few succeed....I have tons of problems with this. However, i have been able to get there on a few occasions.
The most difficult subject when trying to reach this goal is when dealing w/ relationships. If you have been hurt, forgiveness will most likely take a really long-ass time. If you forgive too quickly, you have probably pushed those uncomfortable feelings down in order to convince yourself that you are okay.
I have found, through personal experience, that when we have been a big part of the hurting it is often way tougher to forgive the other party. now, if we REALIZE the damage that we have done during this pre-total-forgiveness stage, does it make it harder or easier to forgive?

my days

my days are thus....a long yet short-feeling progression of events....some of these events are rather boring in which i fill my time pondering and analyzing. The most current theme is obvious. Although i would LOVE to be thinking about other things, i simply must spent these hours (while driving, waiting for kids at soccer camp, or taking a poo) psyching myself out of calling him. I HAVE TO. I will not fall into it again and i CANNOT for my own health. I want to be free of this burden and, although sometimes it is extremely hard, i do feel me chest open up and lighten up as weight is steadily being let go into the atmosphere. It's me this time. it's me letting it go and it's me being strong. i am finally watching my own back. I will talk to you if you contact me, but don't expect anything more.

me fui de ahi

me fui de ti. el conchinito sigue caminando por las montañas y por las aceras y yo, pronto, por el metro. no tengo tiempo de quedarme envuelto en algo tan distante entonces me voy. yo me tengo k distancear ahora....el lo hizo hace tiempo....ahora como decimos, la pelota esta en su lado de la cancha y yo tengo k seguir con mi vida.....Pinto y me descanso la mente. but damn, does it feel good to know i'm done. punto.