it's interesting how we as humans have the ability to forgive, even forget. we can harbor things, stupid things, for what seems a lifetime yet, if we are willing, have the capabilities to simply accept something as "happened" and move on. This is the ultimate goal. This is the place we should get to in order to achieve paz interna. To me it is extremely sad when someone won't at least try. Everyone can do it, yet few succeed....I have tons of problems with this. However, i have been able to get there on a few occasions.
The most difficult subject when trying to reach this goal is when dealing w/ relationships. If you have been hurt, forgiveness will most likely take a really long-ass time. If you forgive too quickly, you have probably pushed those uncomfortable feelings down in order to convince yourself that you are okay.
I have found, through personal experience, that when we have been a big part of the hurting it is often way tougher to forgive the other party. now, if we REALIZE the damage that we have done during this pre-total-forgiveness stage, does it make it harder or easier to forgive?